but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
