I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Randomize
