First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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