I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Randomize
