Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
I like to think it a success when the cops are called
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
