the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
Randomize
