Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
Randomize
