I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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