my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
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