You're my little dorito
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
