This is not my ceiling
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
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