I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
I think your dad took our porno
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Randomize
