She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
