Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
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