I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
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