His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
