So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
well you can't waste a boner
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Boobs are out for the taking
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
