You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
