This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Randomize
