it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Randomize
