worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
