i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
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