After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
