good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
