What a fucking waste of an outfit
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
Randomize
