I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
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