pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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