hell yes lets make some ravioli
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
Randomize
