Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
