also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
