sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
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