that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
