Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
