Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
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