I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
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