They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
she pinky promised me she was 18
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
Randomize
