i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
Randomize