my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Randomize
