Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
