he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
Randomize
