think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
Randomize