Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
