Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
