The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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