I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Randomize
