i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize