Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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