Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
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