Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize
