You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
