I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
Randomize
