i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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