better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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