Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
