God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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