So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
