i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
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